Archives for category: Daily Life

I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me – Hermann Hesse, Demian

Intuition is difficult to explain. It’s not a feeling, a vague hunch but a subtle thought or a feeling that is not part of the normal mind. The feelings associated with it, has a sense of clarity and or stillness and its typically different from our normal thought patterns, emotions and feelings.

In the midst of the daily chatter of the mind it’s difficult to recognize a glimpse of intuition as its usually lost in the inner narration of the mind. Typically it’s noticed when your in a quiet place and calm, when the inner narration or chatter of the mind has subsided. You notice these inner prompts then and this type of feeling is deeper than ordinary thoughts and feelings.

Intuition is inner-tuition. In the ancient mystery schools it was taught as teachings that arise from within. Everyone has intuition to some degree and it varies greatly from one individual to another. It’s often described as ‘knowing’ without the use of normal mind.

Intuition is the minds inner light. A bridge between the ‘I’ and the highest point of contact with divinity within. It can be likened to a sacred oracle, to which the problems of life can be sought out in calmer moments. Ultimately, intuitive feelings tell us that we are more than what we perceive to be  that a deeper kind of presence is at the base of our ordinary consciousness.

When you glimpse an intuition, it is drawing your attention to something that you may have not paid to attention to before. Normally it is accompanied by a sense of guidance and in many cases it reveals itself further. Noticing these glimpses is acknowledging and trusting intuition. From my own experience I’ve found that intuitions can subtle, direct and personal.

Intuition can also manifest as thoughts that seem to appear out of nowhere, spontaneously. And you have to ask yourself where did that thought come from and why? 

What am I being prompted to notice? Cultivate the attitude of ‘what am I being shown here?’. By doing this more will be revealed, but you have to be alert or you can miss these. Try to spend some time alone without the distractions of everyday life, this is when intuition appears and is more likely to be noticed.

“A good place to begin, is to forgive yourself for judging other people in the first place.”  – Bryant McGill

A big change that I’m trying to make in my life is to let go of judging other people as it’ll make me happier and less stressed. Judging another person, seeing the negative  in another person, hinders your happiness. This is often an obstacle to personal happiness and it often trips me up way more than I’d like it to.

We’re told to ‘never judge a book by its cover’ yet we all judge other people – I think it’s inborn trait or its something that we’ve developed throughout our childhood. Now I’m trying to break this habit, but it’s tough as its so easy to see the negative in another person.

I’m learning to see judging other people as a red flag. So whenever I notice that it’s happening I see it as a sign of something bad and then try to let it go.

Why is judging bad? Judging is a symptom of a negative mind-set, it causes us harm. By harm, I mean that it infects and inflates our ego. What are the causes or situations that occur because I’m judging another person. Well, here are a few: 

  • I think I’m superior to other people
  • I have unrealistic expectations of people
  • I don’t understand the situation
  • I’m ignorant of what the person is going through  
  • I’m not grateful
  • I’m being self-centred
  • I’m not really helping the situation coming from a place of judgement

Judging others, keeps you in a trap – an emotional jail. For example, a typical fake example to show you what I mean. A co-worker is loud and opinionated and thinks they’re superior to other people. and just annoys everyone by being so brash and does other bad things because of their own inflated beliefs and opinions.

I judge them because of what they’re doing, get frustrated and angry with them and dismiss them as not worthy of my attention. This kind of thing happens all the the time  – just replace the co-worker with spouse, friends, family members or kids.

In this example, I’m ignorant of what the persons going through and don’t really understand the situation. She’s been depressed, feeling guilty, feeling stuck or scared of something. Because of these bad feelings, she doesn’t like to think about it but it makes her feel better by thinking that she’s superior to others. I similarly do these things as well, I fail all the time, I feel bad, I feel I’m superior to others even though I’m not.

I’m also being self-centred by focusing on how much better I am than them, how she’s frustrating or annoying me. As you can see I’ve made a judgement here and I can’t do anything because I’ve written her off. You can see how things affect me, they make me frustrated, angry and unhappy, amongst other things.

How to stop judging

The first step is to be aware that you’re judging other people and see it it as a red flag. Letting go of judging is difficult and requires repeated practise. But there are some symptoms that alert you to tell you that you’re judging – if you feel angry, frustrated or dismissive of someone. If you’re complaining or gossiping about someone. These are the tell-tale signs that you’re judging.

Monitor your thoughts
Think about what your thinking about. I tend to think things about other people, judge them and I don’t even realise that I’m doing this. I’m working more on paying attention to my thoughts and then push them in a more positive direction.  To do this you have to mindful of your thoughts. You have to aware of your judgements and simply let them go.

Be aware that thoughts you have are just thoughts and may not be true. Just notice your judgements, label them as judgements and let them go. Practising to let go of judgements  will lessen the power they have over you. With a bit of time and practise, you’ll be able to smile and say, ‘That’s a judgment’ and get on with the rest of your day. 

If monitoring your thoughts, seems difficult you can pause and reflect on the following questions:

Why am I judging?
What are the things about the other person you appreciate?
Can you guess what the other person is going through?
Can you put yourself in the other person’s shoes? 
Can you remember a time when you went through something similar?

Look for the positive
Judging other people is negative. If you really look closely, there is always something positive that you can find in someone. As the mind likes to dwell on the negative, you can try to push your thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something positive to say. And if you can’t find something to say don’t say anything at all.

Stop judging yourself
The more you judge yourself, the more  you’re likely to judge others and gossip about them. When you call someone ‘stupid’ or ‘not very smart’, you avoid feeling bad about yourself and place your burden on someone else. When you’re having problems it’s so easy to judge others. Judging yourself is actually a form of punishment. Judging isn’t effective and it’s not very motivating or helpful. Coming from a place of judgment doesn’t help anyone nor does it lead to getting something done regardless of how much you believe it to be true.

Remember how it feels
Remember how it feels to be judged by other people. I don’t like being judged, neither do you! So try imagine what the other person being judged feels like. Try to put these things into practise next time you feel you’re being negative and you’re judging other people. Use the symptoms as a red flag so that you’re aware your doing this.    

You can’t really do anything helpful if you come from a place of judgement. It’s only when you let judgements pass will you come to a place of happiness and peace.  

Are you trying to make sense out of life’s transitions? I’m currently in the middle of a transition and yet the destination is still unknown. Like myself, you’re probably been at the in-between stage more than a few times in your life – but you’re not seeing any results.

You keep asking yourself, “What should I do and how did I end up here?” Maybe your waiting for the next step in your life to appear and you’re feeling frustrated and stuck, like you’re not making any progress fast enough.

What else can you do apart from a.) worrying b.) going over things in your head over and over, and c.) feeling like a hamster on a wheel?

It’s no surprise that my copy of Transitions by William Bridges is well thumbed and richly annotated for my own use.

Being in-between marriages or careers can take on a particularly painful and confusing when things are changing so profoundly. It as if we launched from a riverside dock to cross a landing  on the opposite side – only to discover midstream that the landing was no longer there. (And then we looked back to the other shore, we saw that the dock we had left from had broken loose and was heading downstream.)

Life is a series of transitions whether it is personal, a job, marriage, dreams or physical challenges. It is a set of steps that take us from an ending, through a neutral period, then a new beginning.

One day everything seems to be coming apart; the next day, life goes on as usual, and we wonder whether we have been imagining it all.

Previously, I worked in customer services for a large telecommunications company. I thought my job was safe, secure and permanent. But, before I knew it the company announced a large round of redundancies.

Initially, I felt optimistic and hopeful about my future. As  I had just started a new job, was only there for a few months and before I know it, I’m out of a job. But the job search has not been easy as I though it would be.

But recently, I felt as though I was just spinning my wheels. I thought I was doing all I could do, but nothing seemed to be working out, and that was frustrating. Now I was ready, I wanted something to happen immediately as I had took the time and put in effort! Something should have happened by now.

Not knowing what the future holds can make you feel like a hamster on a wheel. You find yourself constantly asking, What do I do now?"

Even though I’m unemployed, I’m trying to enjoy it – the uncertainty of it all. In one word, it’s about acceptance. Surrendering to the uncertainty – you’ve done your best and hopefully things will come together somehow.

The beauty of the book is that it is not just a manual on ‘how to cope’, but gets us to see that the process on disorganization, death and renewal is a fundamental nature and theme of mythology. The cycle is natural and admitting it makes it much easier to deal with it. Whenever a significant change hits me, I always turn to this book. 

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is in the midst of a transition.